I just wanted to express some thoughts...may bite me in the butt, but just some things I'm thinking. I read articles about being a coach's wife; there's even an organization. But what about when the coach's wife is also a coach. As I've mentioned before I'm reading How to Become the Woman of His Dreams and yes some of the things discussed were eye-opening for me. But the thing I am struggling with now is what if I work the same crazy hours as my man. How then does all of that fall into play? Many ideas are great for a woman who doesn't work or is home before 8 o'clock at night! (like greeting him with a kiss, or having dinner ready) So I struggle with, am I doing what God wants me to? In order for my marriage to be strong do I have to be a stay at home mom who doesn't have career ambitions(like winning a state title)? How can I be Pat Summit and still be the submissive one in the household? (JK) I bring a lot of work home with me. Whether it's stress that my students place on me or the things they expose to me that makes me worry about them because I do love them like they were my own. For me that has been one of the biggest struggles I've had; feeling like my career and my job aren't as important as David's. Not that he's ever said or done anything in particular to make me feel that way and it may just be my own issues surfacing. David is great about having dinner made if I am later than him and the kids are always bathed and ready for bed. He will occasionally clean the house as well (I'm talking sweep, mop, toilets the works:) those are happy days) Should I feel guilty for not being home with my children and making them be gym rats, even when they don't want to be. Any thoughts? It is a balancing act and a hard one at that. I love my job and I love that my kids get to see how we influence other people's lives; but I definitely don't want their life to suffer or lack because I am helping raise someone else's.
oh my stars. Girl, you are asking us to answer a question that only the Lord can answer. Spend some time with just Him and His Word. Spend some time talking it over with David. Is he happy with the way things are? Talk about the kids during this discussion. What is the best thing overall for YOUR family? Every family is different. So if you asked us all for an answer, it would be OUR opinion and what is best for OUR family. I will be praying for you to have a clear answer. This is something we all struggle with, working moms, stay at home moms, homeschooling moms, single moms. We all question if we are doing what the Lord has called us to do. One main question to always consider: Is this bring God glory? Or is it bringing me glory? Eric poses that question to me a lot. I do not always for the answer. ;-)
ReplyDeletegreat advice and wisdom! thanks Aimee!
ReplyDeleteI am with Aimee - seek God. In prayer, in study, in quiet time. Seek Him and ask Him all the questions you have on your heart. Like she said, there is not one generic answer for every family. Remember that Satan can use seemingly good, well-intentioned things to attack us and bring doubt and fear into our minds. he's sneaky like that. But also remember that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit. And the fact that you are seeking Christ for an answer to these questions, is walking after the Spirit. No condemnation. Seek Him and you shall find Him. and please know that you are not alone - again, as Aimee said, we all struggle with this. I know I do. I will be praying for you as well.
ReplyDeleteoh yeah, have you asked David what the woman of HIS dreams is like? maybe, she's not like the one in the book - not completely anyway.
love you
Oh I like that Becca! Ask him what he desires in a woman. I read this book once that every woman I know was raving about. "Becoming His Helpmeet" or something like that. I agreed with some of the principles but honestly? That was just not all me and if I would have turned into that woman, Eric would have laughed. I took what was needed (and what Eric desired for me to be more of) and tried to apply that. All hubby's are different and they marry us for us, not that perfect woman in the book! And if they did, well, I have a great book I would like them to read! ;-)
ReplyDeleteyep- what they said :) And stay away from the Helpmeet book for a bit. it would be overload!
ReplyDeletemy love language is different than most (i'm here in the house with you bc i love you...if i didn't love you i'd be somewhere else)i know that i am impacting these girls lives in a positive way (well most of them, some still think i'm satan :)!) and i'm glad that they take on my kids like they are thier own brother or sister! maybe it's just the end of the season getting to me (really wanted to make the playoffs so they could see how hard work pays off)
ReplyDeleteJust a note from a mother-in-law. The LORD blessed us abundantly with such a gift as you. You are a true MOTHER, WIFE and FRIEMD. We watch our grandchildren grow in the LORD daily and that is the true meaning of a CHRISTIAN WOMAN. Be your self. Let no-one tell you differently. The lives you touch as a coach, teacher, wife, mother and friend are blessed beyond measure. We LOVE you and thank the LORD daily that he has brought you into our lives. BE YOU. There is no other like you.
ReplyDeleteThe flip side of your life is mine. I did have career aspirations (to be an accountant and make lots of money!) but my priorities changed after I had kids. Money wasn't so important to me and I was sure no one else would take care of them the way I would (yes, I have control issues). I work now, part time, but only because I can set my own hours and carry Caleb with me. Even though I have tried very hard to have meals ready for my husband when he gets home (and before he leaves in graveyard situations), done 98% of the house work, yard work, bill paying, and kid carting, I sometimes question if I have done the right thing! Have I set my sons up to expect too much? Have I trained my girls to think they can't have a career outside the home even if that is really the right choice for them? I try to tell them, but will the words be enough? Will they grow up and resent that they didn't get cars given to them and only shopped sale racks because that's all we could afford? I don't know! But here is what I trust: Shelby was born on a Tuesday and I knew as soon as I looked at her that I needed to be at home with her. Financially, we couldn't make it without me working. I prayed and that Sunday we went to church. The preacher preached from Matt. 6:25-34. That passage has shaped so many decisions for me. Verse 33 "But seek ye first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." (paraphrase)I trust that if I have sought His will, then the let the chips fall where they may so to speak. If we start with the Lord and hold on tight, we can't go wrong!
ReplyDeleteI am thankful for Godly women like you, who show my girls that they can do both and still be in God's will!
Finally, I think as women, we always second guess ourselves - I think we got that in the garden when Adam didn't speak up and tell Eve she was making a bad move with that fruit thing...now we question every decision!
Hey Girl! So glad to see you on here. WOW, what a MIL...how blessed you are! (very very sweet) I think as others have said, just seek the Lord and also realize that you have a ministry. Each and every day you have an opportunity to minister to those girls and in the mean time you are ministering to your children as well, even your husband. Once you commit to "God's work", your feelings of inadequency fade. Every part of your life..being a "wife", "mother", "daughter", "sister", "teacher",
ReplyDelete"coach", are all ministries.
Just to let you know I have to evaluate my "ministries" quite often and keep in check.