I am probably announcing something that most of you already know...I AM GUARDED. I do not like to let people in. I think I have a fear of being hurt or a fear of if people know the real me they won't like me. It's silly I know but it's the truth. I don't like when I get hurt or am disappointed in people. It kind of ties back into the disappointment thing I talked about last week. So how do you fix this. I don't make friends easily; I don't have a lot of friends and I think it's a self-protection thing. I'm not going to hurt me...I'm not going to move off or abandon myself; I'm not going to say hurtful things to myself. I don't like to show emotions (I have them...just don't like to show them) Could it tie back to me being a tomboy and feeling more like a guy growing up (into sports, not into girly things, etc) I cried when I started getting boobies and specifically remember saying to my mom "I DON'T WANT TO BE A GIRL!" Apparently it worked bc I still don't have any :) HEHEHE Why do I have such a problem with this....I'm working on it.
ah....girl, you took the first step! You admitted it. We are all guarded in some ways. I know you are laughing to think I am even guarded but I am guarded with Eric. Crazy huh? Because he is the person who is supposed to love me most I protect myself against hurt from him.
ReplyDeleteNow the boobies, they have great bra's that make you look awesome! They work for me! I think you are perfect the way you are!!
Teach you to say stuff like that won't it;) Have you done the Esther study .. It's tough being a Woman. It is the truth for sure. Self preservation is what we all strive for. Yet our God has called us to be a people of relationship...so I am going to guess He will be all to happy to help you along. So will we. Heck I have issues...we all got something!
ReplyDeletehow do you define a friend? and how many of those should you have? you can't compare yourself to others, just because you don't have as many friends as X,Y or Z doesn't neccessarily mean anything bad. who are you open and honest with? yourself? God? pray about and i'll be praying with ya
ReplyDeletelove ya sis - and friend
i don't know how you define a friend, but i don't have any or many... how ever you want to say it. i don't rely on other people and don't open up to anyone...i know who i am, who i want to be and who people see me as and those don't always match up...totally different ends of the spectrum actually. can a person really just not like other people? or is that apart of the guarded thing?
ReplyDeleteif you really didn't like people then you wouldn't have the wonderful family that you have and you wouldn't enjoy them the way you do - how do YOU define friend? what are you looking for in a relationship with someone that you are not getting? and who you are and what others think of you doesn't have to match up - you are not seeking to please or persuade people, only One - so ask Him - and be honest cuz He knows it all anyway :) i think you are really guarded with people outside your family - are you guarded with your family? other than my family, i have one person i consider a 'friend' and she and i have only been friends a short while - if you think about it none of us (women in our family) has very many - why has this come up now?
ReplyDeleteI DON'T KNOW!
ReplyDeletethen i would start with that
ReplyDeleteHey girl! I just found your blog through Aimee, and thought I would say hello. I have not been blogging long, it's nice to find someone you have not seen in so long! I love this post. I can tell, just by reading your comments that your family loves you very much. What a blessing.
ReplyDeleteSo...am I your friend? I'm confused. And don't yell at Becca. She is trying to help. I think. Maybe. Or maybe she is just being bossy. Sisters ROCK!!! You are blessed girl. Don't forget that. If you are thinking about this subject, something must not feel right about it to you. Like Bossy, I mean Becca, (who totally knows I am KIDDING! Love ya Bec!) said, pray about it...find out if you are lacking something in your life. If not, then no worries. I will tell you that my girlfriends cannot be replaced. My mom and sister and I have a great connection. But it's different from my girlfriends. One is not better than the other. They are just different and they are both great. I need them both to even me out. Just like I need my husband to help even me out. Am I rambling? Somebody help me here. Like Rhonda said, we ALL have issues.
ReplyDeleteok, it's Bossy here again, oops I mean Becca, and I just want to say to all you haters out there - YES I AM TRYING TO HELP!!! REALLY!!!!
ReplyDeleteok - i just had to get that out and set the record straight
and i know you were kidding - but it is fun to play along :)
thanks girls...and yes Aimee your my friend. I guess I just see other women and they have their group of girlfriends that they go do things with, and don't get me wrong, I have friends at school, I just don't do anything with anybody ever. I like it that way bc I'd rather be with my kids and my hubby anyway, I guess I was just wondering....I don't know....i'm just rambling now. thanks for the advice, even Bossy!:)
ReplyDeleteHi Stacy - you look like you guys are doing great! your family is beautiful (or handsome..which would you say :)....anyway glad you found me and now we can keep in touch better!
ReplyDeleteALRIGHT!! THAT'S IT!! I am NEVER offering help or advice or BOSSINESS again - all you'll get from me is
ReplyDelete"hmm I don't know."
love ya
Becca-you crack me up. That is one thing I always loved about your family. You are all so different, do not always agree, but you all love each other fiercely and will help the others out.
ReplyDeleteCasey, I would rather be with my husband and kids now also. I make plans, then cancel them all the time with my friends. I have friends that I talk to on the phone but I really do not go out that often with them all. I am a party pooper now. ;-) Stacey and I get together once a month just so we can see each other. I play Bunco once a month but sometimes it annoys me because there are too many women there. ;-) I would rather invite entire families over. You work all day with other women. And you work. So of course you desire to be with your family when you are not there. I am with my kids all day yet I would still rather just be at home. After 33 years I am tired of the drama that comes with some friendships. I have become guarded. You are a great example for of that. It's good at times. I think you are fine.
And Becca-I LOVE your advice. You know we all do!!
that probably has alot to do with it...i coach girls...tons of drama. never thought of that...thanks Aimee...i did have someone ask me to run a 5K with them in a month so maybe that will be my thing i do with friends...David fishes and i run.
ReplyDelete